One of my friends is celebrating her daughter's first birthday today and she mentioned something in her FB post that made me think of something I've been saying since having the twins: I used to think that I was so smart to have my first babies so young; it meant being "done" sooner aka younger. My husband and I would get to go out all the time without worrying about getting a sitter and we'd be young enough to still have a good time going out. Obviously once you’re in your forties and fifties you aren’t allowed to have fun anymore. You’re much too busy going to bed at 6 pm and cleaning your dentures and yelling at neighborhood kids to get off your lawn.
This was how past Hilary thought. She was incredibly self-centered (like most 20 somethings). She was always trying to figure out a way to get her hands free so she could be on the computer or play video games or do whatever it was she wanted to do at the time. She grabbed at any opportunity to have someone else watch the kids so she could get coffee, go to a movie, and just be kid-free. What an idiot she was.
Having more babies in my thirties has put my life, past and present, into perspective. I'm surprised by the number of friends I have that are in the same position of having babies young and then waiting to have more when they're a little older and a little wiser. I'm betting they would agree with my general sentiment; having babies in your thirties is SO much different than having babies in your twenties! Most importantly though is that having babies in your twenties AND thirties gives you a really neat compare/contrast to think about.
I appreciate every snuggle, every smile, and yes every cry as well in a way that I truly never did thirteen years ago. When a baby falls asleep in my arms I lay there with him until my arms fall asleep and usually even longer than that. I would take a night-in with my babies (all 4 of them) and Adam over a night out almost any day of the week.
I also make smarter decisions now; why did I ever buy that jarred baby food?? Making it is super easy, very tasty, and so much less money! Why didn’t we use those baby carrier chest things with Riley and Allie? They’re so convenient! Why were we always so frazzled when leaving our house with the kids? It’s easy peasy once you know what to expect and you only bring what you absolutely need.
I'm so thankful that we get to experience this all over again. We didn't appreciate how time would zip right past us and that we would only have a finite amount of time to do all those little kid things we kept putting off because we were too busy. Our lives are so much richer now, not just Adam's and mine but Riley’s and Allisan’s as well. Thank God for these tiny little miracles.
