Taking Forgetfulness to a Whole New Level

     (This story has been sitting as draft for months now. When I went to publish what I had written the computer froze and I lost all but the first two paragraphs. I had poured so much humor and wit (!!) into round one that I was too mentally exhausted to redo it. Now months have gone by and I've finally finished it.)
     I had just put the twins to bed and I told Adam he was in charge while I stepped out to grab half & half along with a few other groceries. It was dark and it had been sprinkling on and off all evening. I really enjoy my grocery store trips- it's my little break from poopy diapers and warm spit-up- and this evening was no different, I rolled my window down just enough to let in some cool autumn air, I cranked up the radio which was playing Iggy Azalea's Fancy, and I did my best to rap in time while gesticulating in my minivan.
     I arrived at my local Fred Meyer, got my cart, took out my list, and charted my course. I took my time choosing bell peppers- looking over each one individually, chose my bananas at a leisurely pace, contemplated buying a cheesecake (my will power held up and I passed), and checked out a few clearance carts. After grabbing my last item- the half & half for our morning coffee, I made my way to the check stands.
     After paying for my goods ($56?!? I swear all I bought were a few produce items and creamer) I left the store and made my way back to my van. I could tell that something was off even from a distance because the cabin light was on, I thought that was weird. The van was parked with the driver side facing away from the store but as I rounded the back of the van I saw the reason for the light being on. The driver-side door was wide open.
     Crap! Someone broke into the van. This was my first thought. I jumped in and did a quick check, "Hmmm strange, the only items that someone would bother stealing are still here." The realization sunk in: I had parked, opened my door, gotten out, and then just walked away from my van. Who does that?? Obviously an exhausted mother of four including twin newborns does that. Thank goodness no one took anything, it would have been so easy. This was probably what kept would-be thieves from taking anything; it was too easy, it must be a trap, or someone else must be inside the van- why else would the door be open?
     I have a feeling this is just me now- this is what I do. I suppose I should just embrace it, people will understand.