The Covid-19 Files: The Stages of Quarantine

       Back in January we couldn't have imagined we'd be where we are right now. We are spending more time at home than we ever have in our lives. Whether you're working from home, displaced and waiting out the storm, or working the front lines- you are spending more time at home. This new reality isn't without its side effects. As the quarantine marches on we shift through different stages, stages that are a direct result of having too much time on our hands and understanding that we shouldn't spend all our time on our phones playing Candy Crush. I've compiled a list of the quarantine stages so you can check your progress and prepare for what comes next.

Stage #1 Panic: This is the first stage most of us went through to some degree. People started hoarding toilet paper, hand soap, and hand sanitizer at such an alarming rate that even the cool-headed bunch had to partake in a little panic shopping just to make sure they weren't left with nothing to wipe their butts when the apocalypse was neigh. If you weren't among those stockpiling Costco toilet paper in your garage than you at least scoped out the paper aisle when you popped into the grocery store and bought a package or two when you were lucky enough to find it.

Stage #2 Movie Night: You suddenly found yourself with more time on our hands. Even if you still had to work during the day there was nothing else to do at night except be home. Suddenly, it was impossible to find microwaveable popcorn at the store as everyone had the simultaneous great idea for a movie night! Some of us binge-watched TV shows while others began shooting for lofty movie goals (e.g., watch every Brad Pitt movie, watch every Best Picture Nominee for 2020, etc).

Stage #3 Bake: You found a way to fill your evenings with TV and movies but now you needed something to do during the day and baking seemed liked the perfect solution. Plus, you were able to use all those bananas your kids didn't eat but were purchased during the Panic stage.

Stage #3.5 Walking: The combination of being a couch potato and baking led you to realize you better start moving or else when you're allowed in public again you'll need to be rolled out and you will definitely not be beach body ready for summer. So you started walking, either with the family, a significant other, or just by yourself- enjoying a favorite podcast as you passed by dozens of others in the same stage. This stage continues in the background as you move on to the next stage. It's simply part of your life now. You walk.

Stage #4 Board Games/Jigsaw Puzzles: You've gotten through every Jack Black movie, or maybe you finally caught up with The Handmaid's Tale, what now? You could jump right into the next TV/movie goal but you feel like you need a break. Time to bust out a board game, dust off your jigsaw puzzles and invite the whole family to gather round (or maybe dive in solo). Puzzles that haven't been put together in years and you don't even remember purchasing take up all the space on your dining room table, forcing everyone to eat on the couch or standing up in the kitchen.

Stage #5 Organization/Cleaning: You've baked your weight in flour and sugar but the stores haven't restocked yet so you look around and find there are lots of things to do around the house that don't cost any money and will improve your daily life. So you start cleaning. It starts with the most common of chores; sweeping, mopping, dusting (not in that order, I'm not a barbarian) and then it moves to the more uncommon ventures; cleaning all your blinds one-by-one, wiping down the top of the baseboards, taking apart your dishwasher and cleaning all the little traps and doodads. You find something to alphabetize, you organize all the files on your computer and finally figure out what "the cloud" is.

Stage #6 Remodel/Buy things: While cleaning and reorganizing your house you start to notice little things (and later, big things) that could stand to be replaced or changed. Maybe it's time to order and install new flooring, or buy a new piece of furniture online. For some, it's major projects like building a new deck and for some it's small, rearranging your living room furniture to be more feng shui.

Stage #7 Online Shopping: While online, looking for inspiration for your home, you maybe ventured over to Amazon to check the price of something, then you took a look at your wishlist, then maybe you decided you could use a couple of those items now since you'll have so much time to use/play/admire them. Maybe you ordered yourself a few new lounge-around-the-house outfits since you seem to be going through the ones you already own at alarming rate.

Stage #8 Obscure Small Projects: Online shopping led you down a rabbit hole that included a world of tie dye, paint-by-numbers, macrame, and wood burning. You order a couple projects but two-day shipping appears to be a thing of the past so you'll have to wait a couple weeks while your packages are making their doggy paddle across the Pacific, so you might as well go back to Stage #2 and repeat until it arrives.